Great article on Work-Life Balance!

http://www.entrepreneur.com/worklife/worklifebalanceadvice/article207342.html

Five Steps to a Positive Attitude

5 Steps to a Positive Attitude By Robert Masello

Sometimes simple changes can make all the difference when trying to achieve an optimistic outlook. Here are some steps you can take to promote a positive attitude.

1. Play the Part. Act happy—even if you aren’t (yet). It will cheer you and everyone around you.
2. Seek Out Positive Distractions. Think about what always gives you pleasure and do it. Don’t wait for the activity to come to you — buy the tickets, call your friend, get on a bike.
3. Keep It Simple. Do one thing at a time—at least for one or two hours a day. Multitasking can make you feel tense. Focusing on one activity is calming and allows you to enjoy the experience fully.
4. Focus on Family & Friends. Spend more time with friends and loved ones. Enjoying close relationships is the No. 1 predictor of happiness.
5. Take Action. Passivity tends to make you feel worse. Choosing to change, even with a very small step, is itself a mood-enhancer.

Running Into a Brick Wall: How I Learned How to Appreciate Adversity | MyEVT

Running Into a Brick Wall: How I Learned How to Appreciate Adversity | MyEVT

25 books for your summer reading - Veterinary Business Style

Ramp up your management skills

Dr. Peter Weinstein, MBA, is the executive director of the Southern California Veterinary Medical Association. He’s also a former president of VetPartners, a partner in Veterinary Success Services, and a former practice owner. Dr. Weinstein recommends:

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Simon and Schuster, 2009). Excerpt

First written in 1937, business guru Dale Carnegie’s guide to people skills is just as pertinent today as it was 70-plus years ago. It’s the ultimate time-tested guide on how to communicate with virtually everybody: staff members, clients, vendors, and even family members.

The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It (Harper-Collins, 1995).
Learn to fight the myth of the entrepreneur with Michael E. Gerber. Gerber provides a great vision of the small business world that will make you think seriously about how you run your practice. Can you create a practice that’s so well organized and systematic that you don’t need to be present for it to be successful? After reading this book, you just might.

The One Minute Manager (William Morrow, 1982). Excerpt
This is one of the most celebrated books on management, and it begins like a business fairy tale: “Once there was a bright young man who was looking for an effective manager.” This insightful parable by Kenneth Blanchard, PhD, and Spencer Johnson, MD, simplifies business to its most basic activities. If you need to learn how to work with your team to accomplish your goals, you can start with this book. Though you can read this in one sitting, you’ll find yourself going back to it again and again.

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You (Thomas Nelson, 2007). Excerpt
The title of this book by John C. Maxwell says it all. Our success is forever tied to the people who make up our teams. To achieve anything, we need to know how to motivate them. This book by a leader with more than 20 years’ experience is a must-read if you want to be a effective leader—not just in your practice but also in life.

Start-Up Nation: The Story of Israel’s Economic Miracle (Twelve, 2009). Excerpt
Dan Senor and Saul Singer explain how a nation of 7 million people surrounded by hostile neighbors continues to grow its economic base. Why do some of the highest-tech companies in the world have offices in Israel? Find out in this unique story of how one country’s military philosophy has influenced its business acumen.

Develop your leadership style

Dr. James E. Thomas is an owner of Veterinary Emergency Center, a multispecialty practice in Richmond, Virginia. Here are his top picks for business reading:

Leading at the Speed of Growth: Journey From Entrepreneur to CEO (Wiley, 2001).
This quick read by Katherine Catlin and Jana Matthews outlines how to transition your business from a mom-and-pop shop to a successful organization that can survive long after you leave.

If Disney Ran Your Hospital: 9 1/2 Things You Would Do Differently (Second River Healthcare, 2004).
Fred Lee has written probably the best book on establishing a culture of exceptional customer service. This motivating book on Disney’s best corporate practices should be mandatory for every member of the veterinary team.

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable (Jossey-Bass, 2002). Excerpts
Every boss and manager will recognize himself or herself as a contributor to team dysfunction in this quick but powerful read by Patrick Lencioni. Fortunately, the author spends much of the book presenting lots of great ideas for improved and effective team-building.

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap … and Others Don’t (HarperBusiness, 2001). Excerpt
In this leadership and management classic, Jim Collins shares compelling insights about how narrow the margin is between being good and being great. The choice is ours.

Management Lessons From Mayo Clinic: Inside One of the World’s Most Admired Service Organizations (McGraw Hill, 2010).
Leonard L. Berry and Kent D. Seltman provide a phenomenal illustration of the power of collaborative medicine in which culture dictates that the client and the patient are priority number one. This is an excellent read, particularly for those involved in multidisciplinary practice.

Nurture your relationships

Dr. Donald J. Klingborg is associate dean at the University of California-Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. He actively engages in preparing his students for the financial and business aspects of the veterinary profession that await them. Here’s what he’d place on your bookshelf this summer:

Fabled Service: Ordinary Acts, Extraordinary Outcomes (Jossey-Bass, 1997).
Author Betsy Sanders reminds us of the importance of great customer service. Veterinary medicine is a profession operating as a service business—and it is the pet-owning client, not the veterinarian, who defines whether the service is good or bad.

Encouraging the Heart: A Leader’s Guide to Rewarding and Recognizing Others (Jossey-Bass, 2003).
Out of the plethora of leadership readings available today, this short book by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner gets to the heart of the biggest issues surrounding great leadership and focuses on effective recruiting and supporting of “followers.” After all, a leader without followers doesn’t accomplish anything.

An Edible History of Humanity (Walker and Co., 2009). Excerpt
Tom Standage—the author of A History of the World in Six Glasses—has written a fantastic book that will stimulate your thinking about civilization, social preferences, and the influence of food on our culture.

Skills for Communicating With Patients (Radcliffe Medical Press, 2005).
Jonathon Silverman, Suzanne M. Kurtz, and Juliet Draper provide the authoritative reference for effective doctor-client communications. The detail is fantastic for those who like sequential information. Dr. Klingborg uses it in chunks and finds it extraordinarily useful.

How We Decide (Mariner Books, 2010). Excerpt
Jonah Lehrer’s book about the psychology of decision-making has the potential to positively affect all our relationships. Understanding how our brains work can help us understand behaviors—our own as well as those of our staff and clients.

Learn from history with Dr. Stephens’ picks

Dr. Jack L. Stephens is the founder and president of Pets Best Insurance. He’s also a former practice owner and the founder of Veterinary Pet Insurance. Dr. Stephens recommends these historical books:

Truman (Simon and Schuster, 1993). Excerpt
David G. McCullough expounds on the life of Harry Truman, an underrated president who, in the author’s view, made more important, far-lasting, and critical decisions than any president since George Washington. Truman’s leadership style shines in this book, which portrays him as plainspoken, honest, and willing to accept the sometimes negative political consequences for his decisions.

Customer Mania! It’s Never Too Late to Build a Customer-Focused Company (Free Press, 2004). Excerpt
Ken Blanchard, Jim Ballard, and Fred Finch collaborated on this important read for all current and future business owners. They draw lessons from the rejuvenation of the world’s largest restaurant company—Yum! Brands, the owner of KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Long John Silver’s, and A&W Restaurants—to show how companies large and small can become customer- centric and build fans, not just clients.

Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies (W.W. Norton and Co., 2005).
In this Pulitzer Prize winner, Jared Diamond provides remarkable insights into what causes nations and countries to evolve. He argues that the success of Western nations is due in large part to environmental differences between countries, not moral goodness or intellectual superiority.

Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed (Penguin, 2005). Excerpt
A companion to Guns, Germs, and Steel, this book by Jared Diamond explores the geographic and environmental reasons that some populations have flourished and others haven’t. Diamond’s two books have been available for several years. If you haven’t read them, they deserve your attention.

15 Stars: Eisenhower, MacArthur, Marshall—Three Generals Who Saved the American Century (NAL Trade, 2008). Excerpt
Stanley Weintraub takes a close look at three remarkable generals who each attained the rank of five stars during World War II. The book also details exactly how these powerful generals affected the outcome of the war and the postwar construction of Europe and Japan. In Weintraub’s view, the lesser-known Marshall realized the greatest achievement.

Push the boundaries

And last but not least: I’m a partner with Gatto McFerson CPAs, a financial consulting, management, and business-appraisal firm specializing in the veterinary profession. Here’s what I think you should be reading this summer:

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (Back Bay Books, 2007). Excerpts
Many people point to Outliers as their favorite book by Malcolm Gladwell, but I prefer Blink. Gladwell firmly believes that your initial gut reaction to a situation, place, or person (such as a potential hire) is usually the correct one.

Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk (Wiley, 1998).
Peter L. Bernstein discusses the evolution of risk. And risk is a major component of the veterinary practice appraisal process. The riskier an investment, the less a buyer is willing to pay. In this book, Bernstein teaches you how to capitalize on that risk.

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (Harper Perennial, 2009). Excerpts
Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner shine a light on economics and certain trends in a unique and easy-to-read way, with wide-ranging examples: sumo wrestlers, the Ku Klux Klan, drug dealers, and parents.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (Broadway Business, 2010). Excerpt
Chip Heath and Dan Heath delve into the counterintuitive psychology of change, such as why life-altering transitions are often easier to make than smaller ones. Have you ever wondered why your staff reacts to a new computer system with a shrug, but a near riot breaks out when you switch brands of coffee? This book explains why.

Committed: Confessions of a Fantasy Football Junkie (Scribner, 2005). Excerpt
This book is for those who have a football fanatic in their lives. In it, Mark St. Amant exposes fantasy football and its addictive nature. I gave this book to my wife with a card that read, “See? You could have had it worse.”

Veterinarians often look to other veterinarians and veterinary consultants for the best thinking on business, customer service, and the like. But you can see from selections like these that some of the best ideas for managing, communicating, and learning about the world can come from outside veterinary medicine. Grab a book or two here, and satisfy a curiosity or solve a problem you have.

Tom McFerson, CPA, ABV, is a partner with Gatto McFerson CPAs in Santa Monica, Calif. Share your summer reading picks on our Community—visit dvm360.com/summerreading. Send questions or comments to ve@advanstar.com.

Book Report: Joyce Meyer, Peace

July 7, 2010 Book Report: Joyce Meyer, Peace

This was a quick read - large print, few pages. Good book to kick off my summer program. If one had time to sit down and knock it off, would take a few hours to complete. Joyce's modifications can sometimes be distracting, and I did get more out of the material when I skimmed back through to take notes for this summary.

I was optimistic this book would offer some clues on how to have peace in my life, not so much strife. The passages mentioned are comforting. Jesus offers a special peace, unlike the peace the world offers. Worldly peace = "feeling" of peace experienced when everything in your life is going your way. It flees when things are not going your way (which let's face it is most of the time). Jesus's peace = good times and bad, in the middle of a storm.

It would be wonderful if everything went your way all the time. To effect this, we can try to remove anything and everything that we don't like or doesn't "feel" good. The real key is, We need to use our FAITH, not to remove unpleasant things or people, but instead to calmly and peacefully go thru the storms and trials of life. Be prepared to deal with the trials peacefully! Because we can't always avoid or eliminate the trials. They will always be there.

John 14:27: Stop ALLOWING yourselves to be agitated and disturbed. You are doing it to yourself. Are you frustrating yourself trying to make things happen? God has a perfect timing for everthing. Believe this. Trust Him. You must wait on His timing; this brings him honor (that you trust Him and have faith) adn brings you PEACE.

Are you trying to change the people around you? People cannot change people. Only God cabn get inside a person's heart and cause him to want to change (so pray that God touches that person). If we force people from the outside to show different behavior, by maKign demands on them, it ends up stealing everyone's peace. You will not have peace if you try to get what you want the wrong way.

You cannot change YOURSELF. The Holy Spirit is bringing you into perfection or maturity. You should be resting in God, waiting on Him and His timing, trusting Him with the other people in your life and even with your own self.

Many people do not enjoy peace because they are out of the will of God. They follow their own will rather than God's will. They do what they feel like or what they think is right rather than following God's word and being led by PEACE. Be led by peace. You will be sorry if you go against the leading of the Holy Spirit. It may not make sense to you at the time. God will reveal His reasons in time. Many times Peace as Compass is all He will give you to let you know if you are "in" or "out" of his will. Later you may know why, or you may NEVER know why. But you will NEVER know a peaceful life, if you disobey His leading and follow your own will.

Satan knows me, maybe better than I know myself. Satan knows what bothers me. Satan sets me up, to get me upset. Be careful in these times not to lose your peace (patience, prudence). Avoid areas that are known to irritate. Get to peace then look there for the Holy Spirit. If you have a problem and the devil cannot drive you to be upset over it, he has no power over you. Your power is in maintaining a calm, peaceful, trusting attitude. The devil's power is in causing you to be upset and fearful. When you find yourself in a troublesome situation, let your goal be to simply stay calm. (When I recognize being upset or fearful -> devil at work.) Keep Mouth Shut if you are about to add fuel to the devil's fire. Recognize it; do not add to it. Watch for his scheme, and do not play into his hands. Be smarter than the devil. Each time you begin to feel upset or frustrated, STOP - try to recognize what the devil is trying to do. (What the devil's going on here??) If I give a place to these negative thoughts and emotions, what will the result be? Don't stay upset. In Quietness and in Confidence shall be your strength. Disquiet = Weakness. The Holy Spirit does not work in turmoil; the devil works in turmoil.

Luke 22:46: Jesus teaches to wake up and pray that I won't be tested. Do not rely on yourself or your strength to resist the devil. Pray daily that God will give you grace to resist the devil when he tries to steal your peace. Ask the Lord to strengthen you and help you. Do not try to do it by yourself! Ask for help. You can do all things through Christ, but nothing by yourself. You must have a humble attitude if you want God to help you.

In times of trial, do what God leads you to do, then take your position in Christ and watch Him work on your behalf. When you are attacked, stay in peace. This tells the devil he is defeated. He does not know what to do with you if he cannot get you upset. Showing God this attitude of peace and rest shows you are operating in real faith, and assures you of being delivered by God.

Go ahead and enjoy your life, while God works on your problems. The Bible says, God will meet our needs, so why should I worry about it? Worrying solves nothing. Ask God to take care of your problems. Ask God to show you if there is anything else he wants you to do. Pray and stay in peace (instead of pray and worry =}). Enjoy your life - God will come through in the end.

God will give you grace for today, but will not give you grace for tomorrow until tomorrow arrives. People (Cathy) worry about things that never happen. We receive God through faith; we receive the devil through fear. Do not waste today's grace to enjoy today, by worrying about tomorrow.

*No regrets. Trust God to make it work out all right. He has the capability to clean up our mistakes. Ask the Lord to let others know your heart was right even though you said the wrong thing.

Turn situations around and look at things in a more positive light. Things could ALWAYS be worse. Keep a positive perspective.

Pray to God. Make your requests known to God, and the peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. When, according to circumstance, you should be upset, yet you have peace, it is a wonderful experience. You cannot buy this kind of peace. It is yours when you accept Him as your Lord and Savior and learn to operate in His principles.

Commit your problems to His loving care. Do this as soon as the Holy Spirit makes you aware that you are worrying or that you have lost your peace. Do this at the onset, right away, at the beginning of the attack. Refuse to worry. Cast the care of the situation on God. Change your thinking pattern. Instead of one, do the other.

In order not to worry, you must not think about the problem. You cannot think about your problem if you are thinking about something else. When you do need to think about it to make decisions, you will have to think positively about it and not negatively. You can be realistic about your problem and not be negative.

Do Not Worry - Just Pray. If there is anything worthy of praise, think about that. Grace is the power of the Holy Spirit. Grace can help put these principles into practice in my life so I might enjoy the blessedness of a peaceful life.

My Day Zero Project (101 things in 1,001 days)

http://dayzeroproject.com/user/Chilli

Puke Stories (compilation for my book on cat puke)

• The one about the emergency room
• The one about the white shirt in the laundry basket
• The one about my clean sheets
• The one about my carpets
• The one about the scratching pad
  

Balance

Philosophical topic for my FB Friends... tell me about BALANCE in your life. Everyone has busy lives, important work, big decisions, people to please, bills to pay. How do you achieve and maintain BALANCE?

• I make sure I make time for ME. That means I go work out a few times a week, as well as having a glass of wine, and time to go see silly accordion players when they are in town. I play as hard as I work. I figure that if I am not taken care of, I can't be on my A game to do all those other things. I've been a pretty happy person most of the time--but the last year has been particularly great...and a lot of it was finally realizing that the situation I was in work wise wasn't something I could fix, and it was OK to walk away from it.
• Personally, I think balance fluctuates. If you figure out how to find it AND maintain, let me know. But, you can't stress about it, cuz then you will be out of balance....
• Setting realistic goals - Instead of saying - I'm going to clean the entire house today, I think, I'll be happy if I get 2 rooms done. Instead of saying - I'm going to exercise every day this week, I think, I'm going to exercise at least 3 days. I say I'm going to work until 7 each night this week and really get a lot done instead, I say - I'm going to work until 7 on 2 nights and try to get out of there by 5 on the other nights etc........that way, I'm happy for what I've accomplished instead of mad at myself for what I didn't get done and I get a lot more done.
• A long time ago I realized that a good motto to try to live your life by is "don't sweat the small stuff"....this puts all things in perspective and allows one to realize just how many things can be thought of as the small stuff, especially compared to others troubles.
• I immerse myself in the WORD of God it is consistent, always there, never changes
• Only try to control the things you can, let go of the others....spend time with people who make you happy, let loose of (or minimize time) with those that suck the life out of you, do the things you enjoy doing, do things for others that need and appreciate your efforts, keep a smile on your face, don't take any crap from people, businesses, etc,... RESPECT... expect it and don't take anything less, be good to yourself and do not forget that you are special! It is a struggle, but oh so rewarding because the better you feel, the more you can accomplish and next thing you know....you are closer to balance. Good topic!
• I don't know! I thought it was talking with my husband about EVERYTHING but I am enjoying MY time right now learning to run and being by myself - I think it changes! Thanks for letting me ramble!
• From Joyce Meyer, Peace: First Peter 5:8 says: "Be well balanced, be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring, seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
  

Starting Your Day Right - July 4

Joyce Meyer Ministries — Starting Your Day Right - July 4

Pamper Yourself

July 4

Why are you cast down, O my inner self ? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him,my Help and my God.
— Psalm 42:5

God gave you your emotions, so it doesn’t work to ignore them completely. You make a big mistake if you refuse to meet any of your emotional needs. If you are tired, you need rest. If you are stressed, you need some fun.

If you need encouragement, spend time with someone who knows how to build you up. Don’t ignore your emotional needs in the name of Christianity. You are a whole person—body, soul, and spirit (See 1 Thessalonians 5:23). God will show you how to be strong in all areas of your life.

How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

Joyce Meyer Ministries — How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

by Joyce Meyer

How do you respond when someone hurts your feelings? Do you let it rob you of joy? Or maybe your emotions run wild?

Luke 6:27,28 NIV tells us what we should do when people hurt us:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Can you believe that? We’re to pray something like, “Oh, Lord, I pray that You’d just make them so happy!”

I still don’t get that, but I’m willing to do it in obedience and say, “Lord, I don’t know that I really want them to be happy, but I’ll pray that in faith anyway, because You’re telling me to bless them with Your presence.”

Luke 6:35 NIV goes further. It says:

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

A Tip for Following Forgiveness
Now, let’s get practical about how to do this. If we have a coworker who gets the promotion that we’ve been believing God for, the minute we start to feel jealousy and envy, we need to go buy them a gift.

Yes, you heard me right: buy them a gift. It works. When we do it, it breaks the power of the devil because Romans 12:21 says that we overcome evil with good. It’s absolutely true too. I have learned this principle and it has been life-changing for me.

What I Did When Someone Hurt Me
For example, a few years ago someone told me about a person who was doing business with our ministry and making a good deal of money because of their relationship with us. My friend happened to be at the same restaurant, seated in the next booth and overheard their conversation, which just happened to be about me—and they weren’t saying good things either.

At first I got mad and just wanted to tell him that he was never getting our business again.

But in bed that night, the Holy Spirit said to me, “You’re not going to do any of those things.” He said, “No, you’re going to do what you teach. You’re going to go buy him a present, and you’re going to tell him how much you appreciate the services that he’s given you all these years.”

Needless to say, I resisted at first. But eventually I relented and bought him a gift.

What You Must Do When Someone Hurts You
What I remember most about the situation is that as soon as I started taking action to do something good for them, it just got so funny to me. I was laughing out loud in my house, all by myself.

Listen: When we can look at people who’ve hurt us with compassion and pray what Jesus prayed “…Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” there’s a party that goes on inside of us.

I think most of the time people don’t even realize what they are doing. That man in the restaurant who was talking about me had no idea what he was doing and the position that he was putting himself in.

Why You Must Follow Forgiveness
That’s why we need to pray for them and say, “God forgive them.” In fact, what does God say will happen to us when we obey His Word?

Luke 6:35 states “…and then your recompense (your reward) will be great (rich, strong, intense, and abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High….” God tells us that we’ll receive a reward. We will get double for our trouble if we will do things His way.

The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. Do you know what that means? It means that love will even have you making excuses for your enemies. Someone might come up to us and say, “Well, I heard what so-and-so did to you.”

When we really decide to forgive someone and pray the prayer that blesses our enemies, making the decision that we will not talk bad about them, but instead, cover their fault and their mess, we still might not feel any different.

Now, I believe choosing forgiveness is one of the most difficult things God asks us to do, especially if we believe that whoever hurt us is in the wrong and doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.

But God instructs us to practice forgiveness. And when we choose to follow the path of forgiveness, we will experience the peace and joy that come through obeying God’s Word.

Getting God’s Help with Stress

Joyce Meyer Ministries — Getting God’s Help with Stress

Getting God’s Help with Stress

by Joyce Meyer

Today it seems like everyone’s stressed.

Yes, it’s true that we’re built to withstand a certain amount of stress, and it can help us to become better problem solvers. But we shouldn’t be so stressed that we can’t handle our day-to-day life.

There’s only so much we can take.

For example, a chair is designed to bear a certain amount of weight. And if it’s used properly, it should last a very long time. But if it consistently bears more weight than it was designed to hold, it will wear out prematurely and eventually break.

You and I were also designed to bear a certain amount of physical, mental and emotional strain. When we take on more than we can handle, we eventually break down.

The Way to Set Limits
A word we don’t hear much about today is prudence. It means “careful management: economy.”

In the Bible, prudence or prudent means “being good stewards or managers of the gifts God has given us to use.” Those gifts include time, energy, strength and health—even material possessions. They include our bodies, as well as our minds and spirits.

Just as each one of us has been given a different set of gifts, each of us has been given different levels of ability to manage those gifts.

We need to know our limits, and prevent ourselves from reaching “full capacity” or “overload.”

Instead of pushing ourselves too hard to please others or reach our own personal goals, we need to listen to God and do what He’s telling us is wise.

We need to learn to put God’s wisdom into practice so we can enjoy our lives.

Your First Step to Beating Stress
Did you know that anything can cause stress? Stressors can be big or little things. In addition, what causes you stress may not bother someone else. And what bothers you today may not bother you tomorrow.

For example, going to the grocery store may be a stressor for you, especially if money is tight. The checker in your lane runs out of change and has to shut down temporarily. You switch to a new lane and learn five of your items don’t have a price on them. The checker has to call for a price check and the line behind you grows.

Small, seemingly innocent circumstances have a way of piling up until you finally explode from the pressure.

Nobody can remove all the big and little things that cause stress in our lives. So we must learn to identify our stressors, study how they affect us, and learn how to respond correctly.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach
The world responds to difficulties by becoming upset and stressed, but our attitude and approach should be entirely different.

When we approach a circumstance already stressed out, we’re setting ourselves up for misery before we begin.

The right approach can completely turn a situation around.

Instead of stressing out and tensing up, calm down, take a deep breath and try to get some perspective on the situation. Refuse to allow your circumstances to dictate how you’re going to feel.

You may not be able to control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it. Take a proactive approach and decide beforehand what your attitude will be.

A right attitude opens the door for God to supernaturally help you.

Losing a Cat

My cat, Chilli, is sick. Chilli of email-address chilli. Chilli who looked like a frozen chinchilla when I first knew her as a 1-pound, 7-week old flea-infested abandoned frozen kitten at Cornell Vet School. My very first personally-owned cat. First cat I spayed as a vet student. It is hard watching her be ill. She has hyperthyroidism and kidney disease. The disease, and her reluctance to let me treat her regularly, have made her thin. That's hard to see because she's always been "fleshy." Her coat is shaggy because she doesn't allow me to groom her real regularly. She looks at me and meows every now and again, like she's a little desperate. I know she can't feel that great; her heart is pounding and she is weak because her muscles are small. Sometimes she can't make it when she tries to jump on the bed. Then I apparently scare her when I try to help her.

So I tell people that I'm "coming to terms" with her "committing suicide," because I can't force her to let me help her. But I feel a little helpless, and no I don't want her to suffer of course not, but I don't think it's time. Just recently she's showing interest in canned food, and seems to be getting her thyroid medicine if I grind it up and put it on top. So maybe there is hope for her. It's not easy.

Summer Project

I have decided to put myself through a summertime improvement course on how to deal with people (including myself). There's no good summer TV, and I've already got lots of material to use (several semesters' worth). Seems there's a bit too much saying out loud what I'm thinking, and as much as I appreciate my own opinion =-) that's not always appropriate.

One Big Lesson: Learn to keep my mouth shut and thoughts to myself. NO ONE is as fascinated with them as you are.

READING LIST so far:

• Norman Vincent Peale: Positive Thinking Every Day
• Robert Bramson: Coping With Difficult People
• Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning
• Robert Cialdini: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
• Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People
• Dale Carnegie: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
• Dale Carnegie: How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job
• Cesar Milan: Be the Pack Leader
• W. Timothy Gallwey: The Inner Game of Tennis
• Brinkman & Kirschner: Dealing With People You Can't Stand
• Beverly Engel: The Power of Apology
• Beverly Engel: Healing Your Emotional Self
• Joyce Meyer: Peace
  

CONCRETE CHANGES:

• Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented & happy attitudes, and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. NVP, Jan. 24
• First thing every morning before you arise, say out loud, "I believe" three times. NVP, Jan. 26
• Act the way you need to be. NVP, Jan. 27
• Quick analysis of the situation... what would help most? Behaving pissy and petty? Acting positive and supportive? ACT THAT WAY!
• Practice Word Therapy. Say the powerful, mind-healing words over to yourself every day. Let them recondition your stressful attitudes. NVP, Jan. 29
• At least 10 times every day, affirm, "I expect the best and with God's help will attain the best." NVP, Apr. 5
• God's peace deeply embedded in your mind can often have a more tranquilizing and healing effect upon nerves and tension than medicine. God's peace is itself medicinal. NVP, July 2!

I Hate People

One consistent theme in my life, one of my earliest philosophical thoughts, is I Hate People! I acknowledge that's a little sad; it's unfortunate I couldn't have been better socially-adjusted. I was painfully shy as a child, and I prefer to be by myself now. I hate being in traffic. I love living by myself. I love not having neighbors. I have a very wide personal space. I don't get people who don't get me. I am not charmed by most children (that is an attempt at a polite way to say I dislike most children). I am very defensive of my time and space. I like a big sprawling expanse to spread out in. It's likely a mark of immaturity (one of many I'm sure).

I have compassion for people as fellow human beings until they make my life or some aspect of it unhappy. Then I want them OUT of my life because:

• You cannot change people.
• People don't want to change, nor should they have to... just get away from ME.
• I do not need or want other people's misery or conflict. Have enough dealing with my own.

Why am I impatient with people? Can patience be learned? Is patience fluid?

Lately, for a very competent person, I seem to be so anxious, nervous, worried, dwelling on negatives, overwhelmed by tasks, impatient, arrogant even. Is it a case of good, old-fashioned burn-out? Will things get better? When WON'T there be conflict? Staff conflict, client conflict, family conflict. Is the fact that I am conflict-fearful the reason WHY I DWELL on conflict?? Where's my perspective? My life is exactly what I picked; why can't I be happy? It's easy to be cheerful and happy when everything's going great. Throw in a few challenges and I crumble??

I find people frustrating and want to isolate myself from them because I have lost touch with or given up on how to maneuver around them to my satisfaction. That's about me feeling like I need to be in control, or realizing I'm not. I want to AVOID problems, but what may be more effective (and less fearful) is to learn to WELCOME problems, conflicts, annoying people and situations, because I have learned methods, constructive humane Godly ways of dealing effectively with them.

There once was a time when I could get along with many people. I was a floater in HS. I did OK in the weird rabid-horseperson environment at Coby. I can communicate with horses and sometimes children, engage them, get them excited and enthusiastic about learning and cooperating. So it's not like I'm NOT capable of working around difficult people. People get comfortable with me. I can often bring out better behavior in difficult people, and don't bring out difficult behavior in people prone to it.

I want to be the kind of person who is slow to rile, but who people would recognize that they would not want to. I want to be the kind of person who inherently compels people to respect them.

Goal: Think of all the situations that I find frustrating and threatening, anxiety-producing -- staff, clients, family -- and realize there ARE ways to deal effectively with them and the conflict they bring to you. Ways that don't harm me, them, my psyche, that make me invest so much of myself and my emotions in a futile "figure-it-out!" merry-go-round game.

Perhaps the reason I keep coming back to anxiety, worry, angst, fretful thoughts, burnout, chest pressure, head exploding, ringing in my ears, is because I don't turn to God enough (with problems or with appreciation). Therefore maybe He has to keep on challenging me so eventually out of hurt and fear and desperation I will turn to Him! Maybe just get Him in your thoughts BEFORE all the angst. Worth a try!

An elderly man I know NEVER complains. He has lived a humble but meaningful life. It doesn't seem he's enjoyed a lot of material abundance. But he consistently has a cheerful, humorous word for others and while a little weary, seems unfailingly optimistic. He is a lovely man and a wonderful example.

The list of tasks to do will NEVER be done. Never. Til you're in your grave. Be wise enough to take full enjoyment from this world around you and the people in it. Consistently model your behavior after someone your parents admire or would be proud of. I have many, many blessings and it's time I started re-appreciating them!

Mentally divorced from horses

I have been thinking about this since the Honeoye 5K on May 1. At that point it had been a year since I made the decision to get the horses out of my barn. That was probably the BEST decision I could have made. It had been a long time since I was happy taking care of the horses. I can't imagine having to go thru another winter with them, even if it was only 3. I needed to spend my time and energy elsewhere. It's frustrating knowing your efforts aren't appreciated, are expected and taken for granted. Bleh. Glad I got out. Don't miss it, haven't missed a thing about it since October 3 when the barn was emptied. It was about becoming unencumbered, about lightening up in sooo many ways. Insert smiley face here, and move on!

Time to Get Caught Up

I am not super-sure how this blog works as far as dating posts... I am just going to start from the beginning and if I can alter the date to correspond with the thought, well then I will just do that.

But first, it's my 45th birthday! I have been up since 3AM, not unusual for me since I sometimes fall asleep on the couch mid-evening, then can't get back to sleep. It's not all bad; the very early morning seems to be my most productive time. Clear, focused thoughts, a list of things to do swirling in my head, the energy to do them.

Bird just flew at the sliding glass door.... Bertha, who is perched on the table in front of me, is a-raptured! Earlier, wish I'd been able to photograph Harry grooming Blossom... tough and tender; he's still a Boy but he's awfully sweet to my girls.

I can see a few wasp nests on the railing of my deck... that now goes on the list. Took a lovely photo of the valley this morning... about 49 degrees, misty and damp. Hope to post that as part of my journal of the day. Of course, no one but me and my staff knows I have the day off today Nice to have a secret! A secret day off, no requirements, no deadlines, just a "me" driven day. It's a nice indulgence. And I want it to LAST!!

I love this new computer! Can't really "imagine" having it perched on my lap (still don't have that much of a lap to accomodate it!) like you see on TV... cuz that's what I want to do is look like the folks on TV!

Seems like the last month or so was stressful. Funky stuff with clients, medically challenging and involving cases, emotionally draining persistent issues. I have written pages in my carry-with-me journal/day-book all pertaining to the topic, "I Hate People." Isn't that sad? About the time I was thinking, "I need a break cuz I'm getting burned out," Natalie asked me if I'd like some Fridays off. SOOO glad she wanted to give me this one off!

Our 7th Anniversary BAH Party is coming up! Looking forward to it. Most of the prep is done (well, on my end... will try to help Ted and Judy at their end -- my cook and my hostess!).

Love my new car. My new used car is a 2001 Subaru Forester. It is only one year newer, but has 50K less miles on it than my Jeep, and that's considered low miles. I like the color - very neutral. I love that she's paid for! She's AWD, getting about 22mpg, turns on a dime, and her name is ZIPPY! Zippy Scooter. She's fast. But I can go incognito, cuz I look like I'm driving the Mom Car. [Cop: Oh there's some mid-40's lady off to pick up the kids. Haha, no I'm not! I'm driving too fast to Wal-Mart to pick up cat food! Cuz I'm a Crazy Cat Lady who likes to drive too fast!! Fooled ya!]

OK I have some other topics to explore. Next...