Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/09/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html

Jon Gordon's 20 Tips for a Positive New Year

1. Take a 10-30 minute “Thank you” walk every day. While you walk practice gratitude. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a TIVO, tape your late night shows and get more sleep—it’s the ultimate energizer.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: My purpose is to___________ today.

5. Live with the 3 E's. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.

6. Read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, qigong and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Do the “one thing” you have always wanted to do.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

11. Mentor someone and be mentored by someone.

12. Engage in daily random acts of kindness.

13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing positive energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:

I am thankful for __________.

Today I accomplished____________.

19. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.

November's here

November's here; the weather is changing, crisping up. The leaves are gone, long past their golden glory of a few short weeks ago. I really love this time of year. Time to reflect on the time past, plan for the future.

The Right Rev. Corey Keyes's Faves

• Pentateuch (the first five books of the Bible, attributed to Moses)
• Isaiah
• John (read this one in Bible Study at AHUMC)
• Acts
• Romans (read in Bible Study at AHUMC)
• Philippians
  
• Jonah
  

Dave Ramsey's Recommended Reading List

• Rich Dad, Poor Dad (got it, not yet read)
• The E-Myth (GI, NYR)
• Thou Shall Prosper (May have it in a bag or pile somewhere?)
  
• Anything by Zig Ziglar
• QBQ (GI, NYR)
• Built to Last, Good to Great, and How the Mighty Fall, all by Jim Collins
• Free: The Future of a Radical Price, by Chris Anderson
• John Maxwell books on leadership
• Purple Cow, Tribes, other books by Seth Godin
  

My first horseless weekend

I was a bit surprised how excited I was last Friday, knowing I was going into the weekend with no horse encumbrances, no schedules. WOW! Giddy, giggly. It has been a pretty low-key weekend, probably could have gotten more done but I slept in and didn't follow a schedule. It was nice! It was really fun not to have to watch the clock, interrupt what I was doing at the hospital to rush back and get the horses out of the weather. I wonder about Starry, but honestly I don't really miss much else. All those years of horse ownership and now I don't miss them. The distance was already there. This time has been coming since May.

Picked up some books at BJs, and an orchid! Plan to actually read these books, plus a stack of others I've acquired this summer. One at a time.

The orchid: I never thought much about them as a plant until Gardenscape with Sherry a few years ago. They are expensive and apparently fussy. I saw one a month or so ago at BJs and almost took one then. Allen Smith says just place 3 ice-cubes on their potting medium once a week. I found them yesterday while I was shopping and sprang for one. Only $18; figured it would be a fun trial. Gave her her ice-cubes yesterday when I got home.

I'm out mowing the lawn, one more hour to go, maybe for the last time this year. It's been cool and damp. No more tomatoes, all picked; the plants are in the dumpster.

I planted and re-planted a whole bunch of hostas early last week - the 2 from the hillside at work, that weren't very happy; and all 6 plants from my front window area. Plus Millie's hostas. All now under the weeping cherry. Hope they like it there.

Horseless

As of 10AM yesterday morning, I am horseless. No longer a horse owner. No horses in my backyard. This is an adjustment. Good and sad. I am delighted I was fortunate to find a good home for Starry. I am sorry I caused Sherry to cry. She loves Starry also, and she doesn't love changes and transitions. I know I provided something predictable and reassuring for her, that I then took away. Regrets there but not the depth of regret that would make me change my mind. Not looking forward to the winters anymore. Not willing to do the work just because I have in the past, considering the actual cognizance and appreciation for the service is pretty low. Got this accomplished with minimal fuss too, 2 months before my cut-off. WOW!

I will miss everyone but the coming winter was holding only dread I'm afraid. The weather really gets discouraging when you HAVE to go out in it and you are... of a certain age. And when your elbows hurt for 6 months from carrying frozen water buckets. Apparently I am a worrier, not a warrior!

They are a way of life; so many decisions in my life have been based on horses. What to draw in kindergarten. Where to go to college. What to be when I grow up. Where to live. What I do that day or week or month. This will definitely be an adjustment.

Sunday evening mellow

It's just after 6PM, I'm just out of the shower and I'm whupped. Mid-morning visit with Mom at the Pines that wasn't brief, let's say. Home by noon to let horses in. Managed to divert my attention elsewhere for 2 hours... newspaper, computer, maybe a card game or 2. Headed out to start my under-the-tree rings that I've been planning and plotting for 2 months or more. Edged all 3 tree rings, applied a 2"-ish layer of mushroom mulch then hardwood mulch, on top of a layer of brown paper bag. They look nice, very tidy. Too whupped tonite to transplant anything from the sunroom garden, but I expect that will be my first-thing-in-the-morning project.

I am *hoping* I have enough energy tonite to can some salsa... scoping out recipes. I don't like the way my favorite recipe salsa froze and thawed... live and learn, at least it was only one pint.

Insight from a Proverb

I'm 3 for 3 in reading a proverb a day (got the idea from my buds over at 18 Kids..). Today the message gently reached out and turned me by the shoulder toward the light: Always strive for kindness and truth and you will win favor with both God and people. Trust all decisions to God, large and small. Have faith that He will provide. Trying very hard with the kindness. Trying to place my decisions in His hands.

Mom's struggling through her post-knee-replacement recovery... hard to see how down. She's got to get through these next few weeks.

Evening

A good day today...

• My mom is "managing" post-op from knee replacement yesterday. It's painful! She's a tough lady and has certainly had experience managing discomfort.
• Mowed the larger half of the lawn.
• Made pan-fish chowder. Hope it has a wee bit more flavor than last week's batch. (Haven't tried any, yet. It actually takes awhile to make.) Maybe next time, I'll have some nice Honeoye Lake fishies, and not the frozen ones from WM. All the other ingredients are farm-fresh.
• Made up vitamins for the week.
  
• Read 2 Proverbs (today's, and tomorrow's). Felt good to crack my Bible back open, after not too much reading and study since the beginning of July. I'm reading from Max Lucado's Devotional Bible this month. The verse is soothing, not challenging, comprehension-wise.

Off to try some Chow-dah and watch some Touched by an Angel, then 18 Kids. I still have some feline hyperthyroidism to study, looking forward to that actually.

Hummingbird irony

Well I had a nice 30-minute workout with Bob Harper in my living room, and a sweet 10-minute cool-down with the vacuum cleaner. While winding up the cord, I noticed a hummingbird at my picture window... how ironic since I am planning to remove the hummer feeders today. My hummer experience got derailed slightly this summer when the poor things diddn't get fresh food at ALL while I was in Montana for 10 days. Even though I left a container in the fridge. But my caretakers didn't realize that was actually supposed to be used for the hummers. Bummer for the hummers. I think they packed up their tiny suitcases and started the move out. Have seen maybe 3 since, including the one just at my window.

My First Entry

I'm shaking my head... what's gotten into me? A Blog? What for? Who will read it? One more time-waster in a pretty intimidating stream of them? Oh well, for whatever reason or purpose, here it is.

HEY that's why I came up with the title... the Cathy Experiment. Not sure what form this will take or what it will look like when time passes.

I have to get out of my nightgown and bathrobe and put in a respectable workout. GOODBYE!