Q: Cathy, what advice would you give someone who faces losing a large amount of weight?
A: Well, Cathy, I've thought a lot about this and I present the following points, both specific and philosophical, that have been helpful to me on my journey.
- To be successful:
- Have a coherent plan.
- Have a strong will/be determined to persevere and succeed, even when you don't "feel like it" or it's inconvenient.
- Do what it takes to succeed. Whatever that looks like.
- Have appropriate short- and long-range goals.
- Get excited about meeting your upcoming challenges and the successes! You may find it feels GOOD to exercise and sweat; that you feel proud you exercised and ate carefully that week or day or hour; that you ENJOY the "burden" of buying smaller clothes and taking bags of old clothes to Goodwill; that you enjoy helping other people with their journeys.
- Do it for yourself. This needs to be your focusing motivation. The
people whose motivation to loose weight or get thin, is to fit into
certain clothes for a special occasion, or to "Be there for..." kids or
family members, or to make a spouse happy, may not be not properly motivated to stick with it after the occasion passes, the kids move on, your spouse isn't present. You've still got you to work this change out for.
- The first step is, acknowledge where you are, and what is a reasonable goal to achieve. Set realistic, measurable goals, and be patient with yourself and the process while you achieve them.
- You start from wherever you are and do something different, which is going to be different for each individual. Whatever you've been doing has gotten you where you are. Change something and give yourself a chance to respond.
- Put in the time and effort, and occasionally the expense. Mentally prepare yourself for slow sure progress. Don't count on fast spectacular results. Fast weight loss is often short-term, especially if it is based on unsustainable exercise and nutrition.
- Make this your priority! It won't get done, you won't succeed, if you consistently shelve these plans for something else. Other things may have to fall by the wayside for a little while til you understand better what it will take to undertake your journey. Most of the time those aren't important things (like watching TV or goofing around on the computer). We've all got time for those activities, but we don't have time to exercise or plan our meals? Not believing that.
- Try to figure out why you became obese, why you turn to food for comfort instead of fuel, so you can better understand the process (it didn't happen overnight, and it probably didn't happen while you were lying helpless in a hospital bed; you were actively if unknowingly making decisions that promoted your obesity). Take adult responsibility for this behavior. This will ultimately allow you to keep the weight off and become comfortable and accepting of your altered nutrition and exercise habits. Many people turn to food as their "drug of choice," for some reason or another. You can maintain that some facet of your life encouraged you to eat poorly: your parents didn't treat you right, your spouse was at the root of it, you've suffered in some way. As adults, however, it becomes less reasonable to rely on old excuses. You make decisions every day; make decisions that will support positive habits.
- Sometimes we need to look at our own lives objectively, not get messed up with personal details that sometimes substitute for excuses. If you had to make decisions for someone else's health, how would that look? If that's good enough for them, why shouldn't it be applicable to YOU? There shouldn't be a double standard, because you might try to get out of hard work!
- Be sure to congratulate yourself along the way, instead of belaboring what remains, which only drains your energy.
- Don't give yourself food as a reward!! Counterproductive in several ways: reinforces unhealthy food relationship; and sabotages your hard work and effort! I am learning it's never worth it. It's OK to enjoy food, but Food is Fuel! Not love, or comfort. Non-food rewards are so much better. New clothing, new workout wear, new exercise equipment, anything meaningful and memorable; and get out of the habit of using food as a comfort.
- PLAN YOUR MEALS AHEAD OF TIME. Very important, probably critical. Otherwise you find yourself at the end of the day not having consumed the right balance of nutrients, possibly over-consumed calories, then it's way too late to do anything about it. It's actually comforting having a plan in place for the day; "Hey look, that's what my 1400 cals looks like! And I took 20min and planned out my week so I have structure in my day that makes sense." Like laying out your workout clothes so you can step into them first thing in the morning. If you get to the end of the meal you've planned, and you still "feel hungry," you owe it to yourself to wait the 20min we're all told it takes for the satiety of the consumed food to actually hit you. More times than not, if you can observe this guideline, AND have another glass of water, in 20min you actually don't want more food! Yes that rule actually works!
- Persevere in the face of lack of success, on days when you don't really understand weight gain or lack of weight loss. There will be NO SUCCESS AT ALL if you quit.
- Take time to consider your hunger. Yes, eat when you're hungry. Resist eating for non-hunger reasons. You may feel hunger but not always in the physical sense. Emotional eating, emotional hunger, needs to be understood and dealt with in a healthy manner.
- Stick with it long enough to be successful! Be patient. They may not be spectacular results but 2+ years later I still have results!!
- Plan on spending your money and your time in different ways: on exercise clothes, videos, equipment; on good sneakers; on a personal trainer +/- gym membership; and on different foods. I haven't found it more expensive to eat healthy foods. Processed foods are expensive for such small nutritional value.
- Be willing to do things you haven't done before, or in awhile (such a keeping a food, exercise and emotion journal; read books and magazines that can help; exercise hard), in front of strangers, or in the presence of your friends and family who will be surprised and possibly resistant to you changing what you've established as the standard. Be prepared that the attention brought to the changes you are making could make you feel self-conscious, or cause waves in the status quo. That's OK, you'll get over it! Persevere and suddenly you are an example!
- Very good book: Shrink Yourself , by Roger Gould MD
- Good Cookbook: Biggest Loser Family Cookbook I purged all cookbooks which were for decadent or unhelpful foods, like the cookbook I had for uses for sugar... Seriously, it was put out by Domino Sugar, and I bought it. I prefer recipes which give some idea of nutrition info per serving. I use Vita-Bot through my personal trainer, and have used the food journal thru Body Bugg Many options exist to help you monitor and gauge nutrition.
- I usually cook big batches of food and portion it out so...
- I know how much I'm eating
- Makes it easier to log the food
- I don't over-eat: A Serving is in this dish!
- I enjoyed Health Magazine and Self Magazine. Lots of encouraging stories and boatloads of exercises.
- I've enjoyed following Ben Davis who lost 120lb thru diet and exercise. I believe at this time he still has an eating disorder, or shall I say he hasn't given up overindulging on food, and I believe that WILL come back to haunt him,
- Hot foods and beverages fill me up. They are more satisfying somehow. I also chew tons of sugarless gum, which satisfies the part of me that enjoys chewing, and blowing bubbles; plus it makes my mouth feel minty and clean, which inhibits me from putting food there.
- Often, having a small amount of the full-calorie version of a food is more satisfying than a larger amount of a low-calorie version that doesn't taste great (for me that's sugar-free chocolate; the Special Dark chocolate is OK, but the Reese's PB Cups are icky). Unless you're just out to "stuff your face."
- Combine exercise as vigorous as you can handle, with a moderate calorie diet of healthful food. Become aware, through realistic and truthful analysis of what you put in your body every day, how many calories you are consuming every day and the nutrient breakdown.
- A personal trainer can make sure you are pushing yourself and properly performing in a stay-healthy way.
- It has been my experience that I will work harder and push myself harder and more consistently, when working out with other people. So what if I'm tired? I will get back up and do this exercise because it's my turn. That's been very effective for me, plus the camaraderie and support is hard to beat.
- Don't be afraid to get help if you get stuck, working on your own. It can be done on your own but change things up if/when you hit a plateau.
- It's not really about smartness or intelligence because smart people make poor, unproductive, self-destructive decisions all the time. Smart people abuse drugs, make horrible financial decisions, hurt other people. And smart people become obese. It is wise to to discover why a smart person such as yourself would make, and continue to make, lifestyle decisions that are self-destructive.
- Why do I do this? Why did I do this? Obviously my health, because I was preparing to die. And for esteem, mine for me and now others for me. I think obese people are looked at and judged differently than normal weight or slightly heavy people.
- The word PERSEVERE appears 4 times in this text. THAT IS KEY!! The word JOURNEY is here 3 times. It's a lifelong, ongoing process. Worth it.
- Sometimes doing the "right thing" and making the "right decisions" will come easier. There's always going to be other "stuff" going on in your life, competing priorities, your own body's biology, opportunities to sabotage your progress. It's the slow or discouraging times that we need to persevere thru and learn from, to eventually achieve the end reward. This is true for anything! Try getting thru college, staying married, or getting along with difficult people. Say a prayer and hang in there.
