Being your own parent

Being your own parent
Sometimes, you have to be your own parent. We were all given parents, and I think most of them tried to do the best they could with whatever parenting talents or skills they had. Sometimes the parenting talents were lacking, and we children are the results of that.

Nevertheless. There's nothing in the world to stop us from being our own parents when needed. Hopefully we've gotten this far in life knowing right from wrong. Doesn't mean we will always do what's right when faced with a choice between right and wrong. We can coach ourselves more or less; have a little discussion with ourselves, talk to ourselves as if we were our own child or someone's child. What would you tell a struggling teenager if that child were faced with the same situation that you yourself are in. Most of us would want a child to do the right thing, whatever that looks like.

I think parents struggle with being human, and with wanting their child to do the right thing in the face of the knowledge that they might not do the right thing in that same situation. (Do as I say, not as I do.) However you still have the fervent desire to have that child behave in the appropriate way. Just as a teen considers what the adult is recommending, and in their naïve way chooses to do the right thing, I think we adults can use the same decision-making and ultimately do the right thing because it's the right thing to do. In that way, we are parenting ourselves. We take the knowledge of what's the right thing to do and apply it literally and specifically to our own selves.

You have to stop blaming your parents for not being perfect. As it turns out, if you look at the situation from the viewpoint of a foster parent guiding a foster child, where there is no blood binding the relationship, you want that child who needs guidance to simply do the right thing and you'd try to provide the kind of information to help them do that. So instead of remaining lost because you didn't receive guidance as a child, simply put yourself in the position of being your own parents. Forced to give wisdom to someone in need, you'd come up with something and that thing is what you yourself should adhere to.

We've all got room for improvement, and that may in fact come from within ourselves not necessarily from outside of ourselves.