Balance

Philosophical topic for my FB Friends... tell me about BALANCE in your life. Everyone has busy lives, important work, big decisions, people to please, bills to pay. How do you achieve and maintain BALANCE?

• I make sure I make time for ME. That means I go work out a few times a week, as well as having a glass of wine, and time to go see silly accordion players when they are in town. I play as hard as I work. I figure that if I am not taken care of, I can't be on my A game to do all those other things. I've been a pretty happy person most of the time--but the last year has been particularly great...and a lot of it was finally realizing that the situation I was in work wise wasn't something I could fix, and it was OK to walk away from it.
• Personally, I think balance fluctuates. If you figure out how to find it AND maintain, let me know. But, you can't stress about it, cuz then you will be out of balance....
• Setting realistic goals - Instead of saying - I'm going to clean the entire house today, I think, I'll be happy if I get 2 rooms done. Instead of saying - I'm going to exercise every day this week, I think, I'm going to exercise at least 3 days. I say I'm going to work until 7 each night this week and really get a lot done instead, I say - I'm going to work until 7 on 2 nights and try to get out of there by 5 on the other nights etc........that way, I'm happy for what I've accomplished instead of mad at myself for what I didn't get done and I get a lot more done.
• A long time ago I realized that a good motto to try to live your life by is "don't sweat the small stuff"....this puts all things in perspective and allows one to realize just how many things can be thought of as the small stuff, especially compared to others troubles.
• I immerse myself in the WORD of God it is consistent, always there, never changes
• Only try to control the things you can, let go of the others....spend time with people who make you happy, let loose of (or minimize time) with those that suck the life out of you, do the things you enjoy doing, do things for others that need and appreciate your efforts, keep a smile on your face, don't take any crap from people, businesses, etc,... RESPECT... expect it and don't take anything less, be good to yourself and do not forget that you are special! It is a struggle, but oh so rewarding because the better you feel, the more you can accomplish and next thing you know....you are closer to balance. Good topic!
• I don't know! I thought it was talking with my husband about EVERYTHING but I am enjoying MY time right now learning to run and being by myself - I think it changes! Thanks for letting me ramble!
• From Joyce Meyer, Peace: First Peter 5:8 says: "Be well balanced, be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring, seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
  

Starting Your Day Right - July 4

Joyce Meyer Ministries — Starting Your Day Right - July 4

Pamper Yourself

July 4

Why are you cast down, O my inner self ? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him,my Help and my God.
— Psalm 42:5

God gave you your emotions, so it doesn’t work to ignore them completely. You make a big mistake if you refuse to meet any of your emotional needs. If you are tired, you need rest. If you are stressed, you need some fun.

If you need encouragement, spend time with someone who knows how to build you up. Don’t ignore your emotional needs in the name of Christianity. You are a whole person—body, soul, and spirit (See 1 Thessalonians 5:23). God will show you how to be strong in all areas of your life.

How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

Joyce Meyer Ministries — How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

How to Follow Forgiveness Instead of Our Emotions

by Joyce Meyer

How do you respond when someone hurts your feelings? Do you let it rob you of joy? Or maybe your emotions run wild?

Luke 6:27,28 NIV tells us what we should do when people hurt us:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Can you believe that? We’re to pray something like, “Oh, Lord, I pray that You’d just make them so happy!”

I still don’t get that, but I’m willing to do it in obedience and say, “Lord, I don’t know that I really want them to be happy, but I’ll pray that in faith anyway, because You’re telling me to bless them with Your presence.”

Luke 6:35 NIV goes further. It says:

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

A Tip for Following Forgiveness
Now, let’s get practical about how to do this. If we have a coworker who gets the promotion that we’ve been believing God for, the minute we start to feel jealousy and envy, we need to go buy them a gift.

Yes, you heard me right: buy them a gift. It works. When we do it, it breaks the power of the devil because Romans 12:21 says that we overcome evil with good. It’s absolutely true too. I have learned this principle and it has been life-changing for me.

What I Did When Someone Hurt Me
For example, a few years ago someone told me about a person who was doing business with our ministry and making a good deal of money because of their relationship with us. My friend happened to be at the same restaurant, seated in the next booth and overheard their conversation, which just happened to be about me—and they weren’t saying good things either.

At first I got mad and just wanted to tell him that he was never getting our business again.

But in bed that night, the Holy Spirit said to me, “You’re not going to do any of those things.” He said, “No, you’re going to do what you teach. You’re going to go buy him a present, and you’re going to tell him how much you appreciate the services that he’s given you all these years.”

Needless to say, I resisted at first. But eventually I relented and bought him a gift.

What You Must Do When Someone Hurts You
What I remember most about the situation is that as soon as I started taking action to do something good for them, it just got so funny to me. I was laughing out loud in my house, all by myself.

Listen: When we can look at people who’ve hurt us with compassion and pray what Jesus prayed “…Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” there’s a party that goes on inside of us.

I think most of the time people don’t even realize what they are doing. That man in the restaurant who was talking about me had no idea what he was doing and the position that he was putting himself in.

Why You Must Follow Forgiveness
That’s why we need to pray for them and say, “God forgive them.” In fact, what does God say will happen to us when we obey His Word?

Luke 6:35 states “…and then your recompense (your reward) will be great (rich, strong, intense, and abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High….” God tells us that we’ll receive a reward. We will get double for our trouble if we will do things His way.

The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. Do you know what that means? It means that love will even have you making excuses for your enemies. Someone might come up to us and say, “Well, I heard what so-and-so did to you.”

When we really decide to forgive someone and pray the prayer that blesses our enemies, making the decision that we will not talk bad about them, but instead, cover their fault and their mess, we still might not feel any different.

Now, I believe choosing forgiveness is one of the most difficult things God asks us to do, especially if we believe that whoever hurt us is in the wrong and doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.

But God instructs us to practice forgiveness. And when we choose to follow the path of forgiveness, we will experience the peace and joy that come through obeying God’s Word.

Getting God’s Help with Stress

Joyce Meyer Ministries — Getting God’s Help with Stress

Getting God’s Help with Stress

by Joyce Meyer

Today it seems like everyone’s stressed.

Yes, it’s true that we’re built to withstand a certain amount of stress, and it can help us to become better problem solvers. But we shouldn’t be so stressed that we can’t handle our day-to-day life.

There’s only so much we can take.

For example, a chair is designed to bear a certain amount of weight. And if it’s used properly, it should last a very long time. But if it consistently bears more weight than it was designed to hold, it will wear out prematurely and eventually break.

You and I were also designed to bear a certain amount of physical, mental and emotional strain. When we take on more than we can handle, we eventually break down.

The Way to Set Limits
A word we don’t hear much about today is prudence. It means “careful management: economy.”

In the Bible, prudence or prudent means “being good stewards or managers of the gifts God has given us to use.” Those gifts include time, energy, strength and health—even material possessions. They include our bodies, as well as our minds and spirits.

Just as each one of us has been given a different set of gifts, each of us has been given different levels of ability to manage those gifts.

We need to know our limits, and prevent ourselves from reaching “full capacity” or “overload.”

Instead of pushing ourselves too hard to please others or reach our own personal goals, we need to listen to God and do what He’s telling us is wise.

We need to learn to put God’s wisdom into practice so we can enjoy our lives.

Your First Step to Beating Stress
Did you know that anything can cause stress? Stressors can be big or little things. In addition, what causes you stress may not bother someone else. And what bothers you today may not bother you tomorrow.

For example, going to the grocery store may be a stressor for you, especially if money is tight. The checker in your lane runs out of change and has to shut down temporarily. You switch to a new lane and learn five of your items don’t have a price on them. The checker has to call for a price check and the line behind you grows.

Small, seemingly innocent circumstances have a way of piling up until you finally explode from the pressure.

Nobody can remove all the big and little things that cause stress in our lives. So we must learn to identify our stressors, study how they affect us, and learn how to respond correctly.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach
The world responds to difficulties by becoming upset and stressed, but our attitude and approach should be entirely different.

When we approach a circumstance already stressed out, we’re setting ourselves up for misery before we begin.

The right approach can completely turn a situation around.

Instead of stressing out and tensing up, calm down, take a deep breath and try to get some perspective on the situation. Refuse to allow your circumstances to dictate how you’re going to feel.

You may not be able to control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it. Take a proactive approach and decide beforehand what your attitude will be.

A right attitude opens the door for God to supernaturally help you.

Losing a Cat

My cat, Chilli, is sick. Chilli of email-address chilli. Chilli who looked like a frozen chinchilla when I first knew her as a 1-pound, 7-week old flea-infested abandoned frozen kitten at Cornell Vet School. My very first personally-owned cat. First cat I spayed as a vet student. It is hard watching her be ill. She has hyperthyroidism and kidney disease. The disease, and her reluctance to let me treat her regularly, have made her thin. That's hard to see because she's always been "fleshy." Her coat is shaggy because she doesn't allow me to groom her real regularly. She looks at me and meows every now and again, like she's a little desperate. I know she can't feel that great; her heart is pounding and she is weak because her muscles are small. Sometimes she can't make it when she tries to jump on the bed. Then I apparently scare her when I try to help her.

So I tell people that I'm "coming to terms" with her "committing suicide," because I can't force her to let me help her. But I feel a little helpless, and no I don't want her to suffer of course not, but I don't think it's time. Just recently she's showing interest in canned food, and seems to be getting her thyroid medicine if I grind it up and put it on top. So maybe there is hope for her. It's not easy.

Summer Project

I have decided to put myself through a summertime improvement course on how to deal with people (including myself). There's no good summer TV, and I've already got lots of material to use (several semesters' worth). Seems there's a bit too much saying out loud what I'm thinking, and as much as I appreciate my own opinion =-) that's not always appropriate.

One Big Lesson: Learn to keep my mouth shut and thoughts to myself. NO ONE is as fascinated with them as you are.

READING LIST so far:

• Norman Vincent Peale: Positive Thinking Every Day
• Robert Bramson: Coping With Difficult People
• Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning
• Robert Cialdini: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
• Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People
• Dale Carnegie: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
• Dale Carnegie: How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job
• Cesar Milan: Be the Pack Leader
• W. Timothy Gallwey: The Inner Game of Tennis
• Brinkman & Kirschner: Dealing With People You Can't Stand
• Beverly Engel: The Power of Apology
• Beverly Engel: Healing Your Emotional Self
• Joyce Meyer: Peace
  

CONCRETE CHANGES:

• Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented & happy attitudes, and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful. NVP, Jan. 24
• First thing every morning before you arise, say out loud, "I believe" three times. NVP, Jan. 26
• Act the way you need to be. NVP, Jan. 27
• Quick analysis of the situation... what would help most? Behaving pissy and petty? Acting positive and supportive? ACT THAT WAY!
• Practice Word Therapy. Say the powerful, mind-healing words over to yourself every day. Let them recondition your stressful attitudes. NVP, Jan. 29
• At least 10 times every day, affirm, "I expect the best and with God's help will attain the best." NVP, Apr. 5
• God's peace deeply embedded in your mind can often have a more tranquilizing and healing effect upon nerves and tension than medicine. God's peace is itself medicinal. NVP, July 2!

I Hate People

One consistent theme in my life, one of my earliest philosophical thoughts, is I Hate People! I acknowledge that's a little sad; it's unfortunate I couldn't have been better socially-adjusted. I was painfully shy as a child, and I prefer to be by myself now. I hate being in traffic. I love living by myself. I love not having neighbors. I have a very wide personal space. I don't get people who don't get me. I am not charmed by most children (that is an attempt at a polite way to say I dislike most children). I am very defensive of my time and space. I like a big sprawling expanse to spread out in. It's likely a mark of immaturity (one of many I'm sure).

I have compassion for people as fellow human beings until they make my life or some aspect of it unhappy. Then I want them OUT of my life because:

• You cannot change people.
• People don't want to change, nor should they have to... just get away from ME.
• I do not need or want other people's misery or conflict. Have enough dealing with my own.

Why am I impatient with people? Can patience be learned? Is patience fluid?

Lately, for a very competent person, I seem to be so anxious, nervous, worried, dwelling on negatives, overwhelmed by tasks, impatient, arrogant even. Is it a case of good, old-fashioned burn-out? Will things get better? When WON'T there be conflict? Staff conflict, client conflict, family conflict. Is the fact that I am conflict-fearful the reason WHY I DWELL on conflict?? Where's my perspective? My life is exactly what I picked; why can't I be happy? It's easy to be cheerful and happy when everything's going great. Throw in a few challenges and I crumble??

I find people frustrating and want to isolate myself from them because I have lost touch with or given up on how to maneuver around them to my satisfaction. That's about me feeling like I need to be in control, or realizing I'm not. I want to AVOID problems, but what may be more effective (and less fearful) is to learn to WELCOME problems, conflicts, annoying people and situations, because I have learned methods, constructive humane Godly ways of dealing effectively with them.

There once was a time when I could get along with many people. I was a floater in HS. I did OK in the weird rabid-horseperson environment at Coby. I can communicate with horses and sometimes children, engage them, get them excited and enthusiastic about learning and cooperating. So it's not like I'm NOT capable of working around difficult people. People get comfortable with me. I can often bring out better behavior in difficult people, and don't bring out difficult behavior in people prone to it.

I want to be the kind of person who is slow to rile, but who people would recognize that they would not want to. I want to be the kind of person who inherently compels people to respect them.

Goal: Think of all the situations that I find frustrating and threatening, anxiety-producing -- staff, clients, family -- and realize there ARE ways to deal effectively with them and the conflict they bring to you. Ways that don't harm me, them, my psyche, that make me invest so much of myself and my emotions in a futile "figure-it-out!" merry-go-round game.

Perhaps the reason I keep coming back to anxiety, worry, angst, fretful thoughts, burnout, chest pressure, head exploding, ringing in my ears, is because I don't turn to God enough (with problems or with appreciation). Therefore maybe He has to keep on challenging me so eventually out of hurt and fear and desperation I will turn to Him! Maybe just get Him in your thoughts BEFORE all the angst. Worth a try!

An elderly man I know NEVER complains. He has lived a humble but meaningful life. It doesn't seem he's enjoyed a lot of material abundance. But he consistently has a cheerful, humorous word for others and while a little weary, seems unfailingly optimistic. He is a lovely man and a wonderful example.

The list of tasks to do will NEVER be done. Never. Til you're in your grave. Be wise enough to take full enjoyment from this world around you and the people in it. Consistently model your behavior after someone your parents admire or would be proud of. I have many, many blessings and it's time I started re-appreciating them!