Monday, April 2, 2012

Going Home

Even though I am at peace with my dad's passing, there's still the sadness of his loss.  Of a time gone, of memories good and bad.  I have said I do not begrudge my dad his passing, because it is a path we all must take.  He would not have wanted to suffer long.  Like the animals he hunted respectfully for a lifetime, he would have wandered off into the woods and curled up to pass on his own, and that's how he made it for us.  He respected and understood life and death, he didn't take it for granted; he was realistic about his own mortality.

The hardest part is the adjustments we survivors must make, every new day, in the world without his living form in it.  His spirit lingers, it's there in the memories of his smile and his voice and his eyes and his works and words.  In photos and notes and in the sky and earth around us.

I smile to think he's with so many of his loved ones now, both human and animal.  He's loving on his cats and dogs, he's giving brain massages to his horses, he's laughing and joking with his brother and sisters, his friends.  His mother and father must be elated to have him back in their arms, for I know he mourned their passing too.  And I know he waits for me there, and I'll be so happy to see him once again forevermore, to hug him and clap him on the back.

Going Home
Going home, going home, I am going home.
Quiet like, some still day, I am going home.
It's not far, just close by, through an open door.
Work all done, care laid by, never fear no more.
Mother's there expecting me, father's waiting too.
Lots of faces gathered there, all the friends I knew.
I'm just going home.
No more fear, no more pain,
No more stumbling by the way,
No more longing for the day.
Going to run no more.
Morning star lights the way, restless dreams all gone.
Shadows gone, break of day, real life has begun.
There's no break, there's no end, just living on.
Wide awake with a smile, going on and on.
Going home, going home, I am going home.
Shadows gone, break of day, real life has begun.
I'm just going home.